Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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