I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
