scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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