That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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