i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
how does that bad decision feel?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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