I met the friendliest cop last night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
