i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
