This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
