she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
