Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
