Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She bit a glass in half.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
