so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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