i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
tell your sister to shave her snatch
the day after is always just damage control
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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