I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
