I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
