Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
