i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
