Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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