Dual....:-)
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
