What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
