It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
