I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
