So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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