I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
