is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
