I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
