Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
