How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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