Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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