Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
