It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
