I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
