Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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