what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
