best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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