best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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