Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My liver just had a heart attack.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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