she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
