You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
