Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
