Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
