I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
