I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
