No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
