Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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