But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
