well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
