If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
