no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
