Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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