question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
