the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize