my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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