beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
