i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize