Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
