If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize