I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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