Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize