I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You took a bar mat shot.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
